Evolvement of life

Happy Monday everyone!

Hope today begins as a start of all good things to happen within this whole week. Insya’Allah!

The rest of my kids are starting their new term today. I hope the traffic will be smooth despite the begin of new term for the ITE students. Hope the red and green MRT line do not have any further hiccups throughout the day and the week.

Today’s topic on my mind is actually on the evolvement of life … how everyone of us goes through life either by facing hardships or a life of ease at the beginning and then it gets better or we fall from grace and how like a cycle, again we go through up and down at different interval of our lives …. how at times we start with being a badass and yet midway we evolve to be a better person.

So really change is a cycle and very constant …. always happening, sometimes slowly and at times rapidly … and the how and when we go through this cycle is the only unpredictable factor.

Whatever it is …. whether its negative or positive …. we can’t avoid change. All we can do is try our best to evolve our internal self to accept and adapt to the changes. At any time, most important is not to let go of the tie between us and the Almighty. The link between us and God is something that acts as an anchor, stabilising us when going through life’s negative cycle. Do not let go even if our link seems to be the weakest …. just hang on to it and pray and be positive. For in every hardships there will be ease. Be patience for the silver lining will be there.

A quote from Mufti Menk: “Calamity has its blessings. Embrace it. The Almighty knows. He has seen how it can transform a harsh person into one with the kindest heart.

And when we are facing the positive changes …. always be thankful and do our best to keep the blessings hidden. Why?

Another quote from Mufti Menk:Don’t underestimate the evil-eye. It’s real. As far as possible, keep your blessings hidden. Be humble. Make the Almighty your focus.

Jealousy is real …. the people whom we think likes us and trusts us are the ones most likely to back-stab us. I’ve seen it and I’ve gone through it. People whom I thought are like my own sisters, smiling one moment in front of me and yet behind me spread falsehood about me. The most disappointing are those who in the face of negative situation do not even defend you when they know they could have done so and help ease the situation.

Office politics is also another thing that are always happenings …. and these are mostly negative as well.

So be humble and protect the heart from hurt by keeping a certain distance from other people. Continue to be kind and friendly but be aware of life’s treacherous ways and learn to protect yourself. For these reasons, I am now more comfortable being in my own company and do not seek other people companion unnecessarily. The less we interact, the less we are open to mistakes and negative situations.

As a reminder, I too need to protect myself from feeling jealous towards other people, must always be thankful for what I am and what I have.

Happenings in life will make us evolve ….. what we should watch out for and hope for is that the evolvements are positive ones. Do not be afraid of changes …. accept and adapt. Insya’Allah we will come out better and wiser.

Khalas!

Kindness – A story to be remembered

I regularly received emails from IslamicEventsSg and today I was happy to receive and read the shared story from them. A story that reminds me of how kindness makes a whole lot of difference in our lives. A story of faith and how the acts of kindness and giving have many positive impacts on both the giver and the receiver. So let’s this story be another reminder for myself …. to strive to always try my best to be kind. Insya’ Allah!

This is the story as received via the email:

An Inspiring Hajj Story

From time to time, we receive whatsapp or a facebook posts but very few of them are worth sharing. Spend some 3 mins of your time reading the post below and hopefully it will brighten up your day.

*Hajj Story… very touching!* 🌄

Sa’eed was sitting at the waiting area at the Jeddah airport after having completed the rites of hajj, and next to him was another person who completed his hajj.

The man next to him said: “I work as a contractor and Allah (swt) has blessed me with performing my tenth hajj.”

Sa’eed told him: “Hajj mabroor, may Allah accept and forgive you your sins.”

The man smiled and said: “Ameen.”

Then he asked him: “Have you performed hajj before this time?”

Sa’eed was hesitating to tell him, and then he said: “By Allah, it’s a long story and I don’t want to hurt your head with my talk.”

The man laughed and said: “Please tell me, as you see we have nothing to do, we’re just waiting.”

Sa’eed smile and said: Yes, waiting is the start of my story. I’ve been waiting years so that I can go to hajj. After working for thirty years as a physiotherapist in a private hospital, I was able to save enough money to go for hajj. The same day I went to get my salary, I came across one of the mother’s who’s paralyzed son I treat. I could see her face was worried and anxious.

She said: “I leave you to Allah’s keeping, brother Sa’eed this is our last visit to this hospital.”

I was surprised with her words and I thought she wasn’t happy with my treatment, and that she was considered moving her son to another hospital.

She told me: “No brother Sa’eed, Allah bears witness that you were to my son like a father, and you helped him in his treatment when we had lost hope.” Then she left very saddened.

The man next to him interrupted and said: “That’s strange, if she was pleased with your treatment and her son was improving then why did she leave?”

Sa’eed answered: That’s what I thought too, so I went to the administration to find out what happened. They told me the boy’s father had lost his job and was unable to continue paying for his son’s treatment.

The man next to him said: “There is no might and power except with Allah, poor them, how did you deal with it?”

Sa’eed said: I went to the manager and pleaded with him to continue treating the boy on the hospital’s expense, but he sharply rejected and said, ‘this is a private institution not a charity’. I left his office sad and broken for this family. Then suddenly, I placed my hands in my pocked which had my money all prepared for hajj. I stood in my place for a while, then I raised my head above and spoke to my Rabb: O Allah, You know how I feel and You know there is nothing more beloved to me than to go to Your house and do hajj, and to visit Your messenger’s masjid. You know I have been working all my life for this moment, but I prefer this poor lady and her son over myself, so don’t deprive me of Your favors.

I went to the accounts desk and paid all I had for his treatment which covered the next six months. I begged the accountant to tell the lady that it’s from the hospital expense for special cases. He was affected by this and there were tears in his eyes and said, “baarak Allah feek and people like you.”

The man next to him then said: “If you donated all of your money, then how did you go to hajj?”

Sa’eed said: I went back to my home sad that day for having lost the opportunity of a lifetime for hajj. But my heart was filled with happiness that I removed a distress from the lady and her son. I slept that night with a tear on my cheek. I had a dream and I was making tawaf around the Ka’aba and people were saying salam to me and they told me: “Hajj mabroor O Sa’eed, for you have performed hajj in the heavens before you performed hajj on earth.”

I immediately woke up and felt an indescribable happiness. I praised Allah (swt) for everything and was pleased with His decree. When I got up from my sleep, my phone rang and it was the hospital’s manager. He told me the owner of the hospital wants to go to hajj this year and he won’t go without his personal therapist. But his therapist’s wife is expecting and has reached her final days of pregnancy so he can’t leave her.

“Would you do me favor? Would you accompany him in his hajj?”

I made sujood shukr to Allah (swt). And as you see, Allah (swt) granted me to go to His house without having to pay anything.
And all praise to Allah, the owner of the hospital insisted on giving me something for his accompaniment. I told him the story of the lady and her son, and he demanded the boy be treated at the hospital from his own personal expense. And to place a donations box in the hospital for the treatment of needy patients. And on top of that, he gave the boy’s father a job at one of his companies. He even returned the money I had initially spent for the boy’s treatment.

Have you seen great favors than the favors of my Rabb? Subhan Allah.

The man next to him hugged him and told him: by Allah I have never felt this kind of shyness as I’m feeling now.
I would perform hajj one year after another thinking I was doing something great, and that my place with Allah would be elevated as a result of it. But now I understood that your hajj is equivalent to a thousand of mine.

*I went to the house of Allah, but Allah invited you to His house.* May Allah accept your hajj.
Always think good about Allah (swt) and know He is able to do all things.
We ask Allah to forgive us and humble us in everything we do. Aameen”
Feel free to share – IslamicEventsSG

Diversity

I’m back to work after a 2 days course at the Devan Nair Institute.

The topic was on “Manage a diverse service environment.”

I love the instructor … Yes Indeed I do love the instructor. Other instructors that I had, I would usually say ‘I like them’ but this time I love my instructor 🙂

What not to love her when she’s pretty, engaging and oozes lots of sincerity. Ms Haseena Sham comes from a diverse family background and she embraced her beliefs on accepting diversity daily … Her actions spoke for her 😉

There were only 6 of us in the class so it was small and cosy. We divided into 2 groups of 3. My partners were two gentlemen. One, a graphic artist and the other, a RWS service provider. Both are in the attractions sector. I was the only one in the education sector.

All of us makes friends easily and during the short time together, we even went out for lunch together. I felt most comfortable interacting with them. Oh! I almost forgot to mention that among the 6 of us, we had a Filipino man. A very nice guy with a good singing voice 😉

Ok back to the topic of diversity …. what comes to our mind when we say “diversity”?

To me, it would mean accepting differences and so far, Alhamdulillah, I have no problem understanding, accepting and adjusting to a diverse environment or making friends from diverse backgrounds.

My workplace, internally so far, we had colleagues from Myanmar, Indonesia, Malaysia, India and China. I have to say that it has been a great pleasure knowing these colleagues.  Once you take away their nationality and race …. you will discover that they are just like ourselves. People who are good and kind.  I even supervised SA from Vietnam and my SA was so cute and lovable. Treated me like a big sister and always brought back souvenirs from their hometown.  He even continue to keep in contact with me after he graduated 🙂

Well, a summary of what was discussed during the course were as follows:

Things that we can do to promote diversity in our daily life.

  • Need to learn to appreciate differences and train ourselves to look with different perspectives. Do not “hang-on” to the habit of stereotyping people.
  • Learn to emphatise with one another.
  • Be willing to listen.
  • Remember the time when we were once in the state of negative feelings such as “Lonely, Disappointed, Outsider, Side-lined, Insulted, Disregard” etc. View others that they could also be feeling this way.
  • Communicate – Open communication is always good. Ask for clarification when needed, do not assume.
  • Trust and show respect – Treat people as how we want to be treated.
  • Create an environment that includes everyone (enable all to participate)
  • Encourage the sense of belonging with positive attitudes.
  • Be receptive and receiving at all times (Be grateful, give and take etc.)
  • Do not discriminate

The world is changing and its becoming common for us to share our environment with people from different nationality, race, language, culture, physical ability and skills. To adapt and promote an inclusive society (be it at home or work), we might have to change our long-time beliefs and habits.

Remember this quote:

“Labels are for can, Not for people!”

I love this quote …. I think it is something worth remembering and reflecting. When talking about people, we have to remember that we are also in the “people” category. So how we view other people, we need to remember that their eyes are also viewing us. So avoid viewing other people in a negative way.  God did not create us in different nations, language, cultures, physical form, physical abilities etc. for us to mock and hate one another … but rather God created us differently for us to learn and appreciate what each of us can offer. Diversity or variety …. it makes the world more interesting if only we do not succumb to prejudice.

During the course, we also learnt the importance of visual, verbal and vocal. When speaking to another person, it is important to remember to ensure our visual and vocal (tone of voice) do not transmit negative message.

So in a nutshell …. we can’t escape for a diverse environment with the world changing as it is and so we all must learn to accept diversity, not just in our workplace but also in society. Think of diversity as something that is good and interesting. Embrace it and I am sure we will be surprise at the gems that we can and will discover during our interactions with others 🙂

Khalas!

 

 

 

 

Of kind words and self-reflect

I have a colleague and friend at work that whenever she sees me, she would asked me “how are you?” without fail and her kindness showed in her demeanor and the sincerity of her words.

Today, we met at the counter …. I was replacing her duty and she asked me, “how are you feeling now? after the fall? better?”

I replied, “Yes, good (Alhamdulillah, I whispered in my heart)” and smiled at her. She smiled back and said “you’re very fortunate you know … must thank your Allah and you’re bless …. you’re by nature a kind person and so your Allah protect you.”

Sweet and such kind words …. Alhamdulillah, I am indeed grateful! May Allah bless her for being a kind and caring friend.

Indeed, whatever befalls us especially those moments of pain, loss, illness and many more …. we must always remember to look at the bright side … there are always the bright side, we just need to look deep and when we find them, we would find peace, acceptance of our situations, the ability to move on and gratefulness.

So yes, my fall was bad and painful but looking on the bright side, Alhamdulillah, there was no fracture to the skull, no internal bleeding, I did not go into a coma, no physical disability due to the fall etc. So many things to be grateful for. Syukran Ya Rabb! 🙂

Life is unpredictable but faith and hope will help us to find balance and sanctuary while facing life’s tempestuous sea.

I am a human who makes mistakes and commit sins daily … there’s no doubt of that and for that I hope to seek His forgiveness and thus I enjoin myself to forgive others as well because none of us are perfect. The only difference is between forgiving and the choice of putting oneself in negative radar intentionally. The balance and need to protect myself is also important to me. More important is that lessons are learnt to make sure I do not do onto others what others had done to me. This is something which I keep reminding my gals and myself. To forget is also human and so I need reminders all the time 😦

Khalas!

PS: These few days… the 4th SIL is at another place that will re-open memories of her son while he was alive. May she be given peace of heart and mind and may the memories that perhaps will might come forth be a comfort instead of sadness to her. Aamin …

Detach – self & emotion

The word ‘detach’ means to disengage (something or part of something) and remove it.

And so ever since I’ve decided to detach myself from certain matters from my life, I have discovered that I have becomes aloof at times. What do I mean by aloof? Not that I’m being proud or arrogant but in training myself to be detach, I discovered that my feelings are slow to react in my usual manner …. for instance when a person told me of his/her situations or problems, I would listen but my feelings of empathy/symphathy/sadness etc just do not show up quickly. I would listen/read but it would take me quite sometimes to really view the matter in the normal ways that I would before this “detaching” training mode becomes me. Dunno if this is good or bad…. hmm…

I have learn to not ask or be curious about matters regarding what others are doing ….. kadang perasaan ni macam perasaan tak kuasa gitu. Bila datang perasaan nak tanya jer nanti diri ni tanya balik “soalan yang nak ditanya apa baiknya?”

So thinking and reflecting …. I realise learning to detach has its pro and cons …. pros is that many times I prevent myself from being a ‘Kepo’ and cons I believe that people will get a different vibe from me due to my lack of response thus could be misconstrued and bak kata orang akan jadi bahan perbualan manusia sebab kita dah macam aksyen gitu …. hehee… I find it funny and scary at the same time!

Anyway, I believe I will continue to detach myself perhaps not from everything but selected matters.

Life lessons has been hard and harsh on me. The funny thing is when I looked back, I realised that even though I did not go looking for trouble but I seemed to have a knack to attract trouble. I suppose what matters most is that I do not create the trouble and I must learn to protect myself from any future troubles. It’s really not about me not being tolerant or not having patience but rather I just choose not to want to suffer anymore … present and future.

Reading the quote from Mufti Ismail Menk just now, I must say that I totally agree with what he said. The tongue is indeed sharper and fatal than a sword/knife. The effect of words … could leave a person scarred for life! In this aspect, my change from my norm, I have “them” to thank for. Hoping that all “these” has blessings in disguise, insya’Allah!

“Saying things out of anger may leave a scar which might be permanent. You could apologise repeatedly but a verbal wound could be for life!” – Mufti Ismail Menk

As such, I must also learn to control my tongue when I am angry.  Ni nak kena ingat selalu huhu …

 

Khalas!

Silahturrahim

I’ve been bugged by this question about silahhturrahim for over a year now … and ever since I’ve practice “change your thoughts and you will change your world” …. my world has indeed changed. For the better or worse, only God knows.

For all the good intention that people have in advising me on silahturrahim, I’m afraid my heart has not moved an inch from my decision.

Today, I found another reason for holding on to my belief and decision.

Jazakallahu khairan ….A big THANK You,… to Allah’s servant who has counselled me and help to explain that my decision is indeed not wrong.

This is the question I posed :
“in the case of associating with the in-laws, is it ok if I choose not to adhere to social practice and pressure? If being isolated brings peace to myself and family … is it alright to continue doing so despite social pressure, expectations and people’s comment?”

This is the answer I received:
“Yes! It’s perfectly okay. In-laws, friends, whatever ties. The word silaturrahmi has been misconstrued because people equate it to physical ties – as in you have to show up and meet physically, be nice physically, do this do that physically. That is to me so wrong and has gone off even the literal meaning of the word itself.

Silaturrahmi > to connect with love, compassion, etc. It’s about how you connect with them from your heart, doesn’t matter remotely or in person. If connecting in person only brings pain or hurt and even more pain or hurt for example, then that is not silaturrahmi but silatu-sakithati or silatumakanhati. Hehehe. More than often, if you agree, not meeting someone/certain people with “different frequency energy” is better both for us and for them. Kadang2 kan bila dekat bau tayi, bila jauh bau jadi wangi. So jauh2 lagi bagus. Dalam jauh, we send only good thoughts, loving thoughts. Ni baru betul namanya silatu-al-rahmi = connecting with love, in spirit, not necessarily in physic. But this comes with a consequence like you said. So it all depends on which consequence are you more willing to tolerate with. E.g. Nak live with di kata orang, versus ikut kata orang sambil makan hati. For me, i can tolerate dikata orang. Sebab kata je pe. The worst ends in words. What people think of you won’t destroy you. Makan hati berulam jantung would. So I agree so much with choosing to make peace with yourself first. ”

Wise words to my ears indeed.

Keeping this conversation here as a reminder to me.
I need to keep reminding myself that my intentions are the ones I should keep in checked and scrutinise often. My deeds should not harm others and that include my tongue, my eyes, my ears etc.

Khalas!

Farewells

It’s never easy to say goodbye … So I’d rather say ‘au revoir’ instead.

Yesterday, we said farewell to a friend and colleague of 13 years. Even as I felt sad at her going, I pray that she will have success at her future endeavors. All the best Clarice! 😘

I made a photobook of her journey while with us and she was so happy to receive it that she cried! The rest of the colleagues were also happy to view the photobook for it brought back lots of memories … Another colleague even requested that I made one for her when she resign … 😓.  …. I did not know whether to laugh or cry at the thought. Cos it will mean losing another friend.

Anyway, I told that particular colleague…. “Sure…. Make sure you take lots of photos cos as long as I have enough materials to work with, I will do it!” 😉

I had already prepared one for my RO for her upcoming birthday. Hope she will like it too!

Anyway, back to saying farewell…. It’s sad but life still goes on … The one who left will start a new journey, meeting new friends and learning something new. While the ones left behind, will continue doing their routine jobs and in time when new staff join will made new friends. Such is life, be it sadness or happiness… Nothing lasts forever!

Even when one parts due to death, time will help to heal and after a while life moves on. 

Even when you feel bitter, angry or traumatised by life’s trials or tribulations….. After a while you will realised that it gets better with time and that people do not wait for you or care enough about you to linger too long on such emotions. 

Where there’s birth, there will be death. 

Where there’s meeting, there will be parting.

We are all on borrowed time …. So make the most of it!

Khalas!