Dear Mak

Dear Mak,

Today, 5th August 2016, your one and only sister, dearest Mak Ngah, passed away around 7.10 am in the morning. May Allah bless her soul! Aamiin….

Al-fatehah …. Asmah bte Abdullah.

We love you Mak Ngah! May Allah bless you with His Rahmah and place you among the righteous… Aamiin aamiin aamiin Ya Rabb!

Dear Mak, she’s our last link to you and her passing had an impact on me. Though as usual, I was not inclined to cry much in public ….. as you do know mak, your daughter is a private person when it comes to grieving. I grieved only when I am alone ….. I remembered how I only cried and breakdown after your burial and after almost everyone had went home many years ago.

I cried for bapak also after his burial and I cried for my PIL while looking after him, sitting alone watching him sleep as I spent the night in the hospital ward.

The only few times I was not able to control the tears were during the death of my late teacher, my closest classmate and my little nephew. Even then my self-control took over after a while. Alhamdulillah, I thanked Allah for the strength and will-power.

Dear Mak, I reached my workplace this morning at 8.30 am and as I was charging my hp, I then saw the message. I quickly informed my RO, and with her permission, applied for half-day urgent leave. Updated the rest of the family and distracted myself by focusing on my work while waiting for the time to pass.

Since my workplace was very near to the burial ground, I decided to be there instead of going all the way to Bedok Reservoir.

Alhamdulillah … everything went smoothly and around 3 pm plus, mak ngah was finally put to rest at her burial ground.

Dear Mak, as I was listening to the talqin … I had this vision of how you and her … your souls meet each other … how you get to hug your sister ….silly right? but somehow I felt comforted visualising it cos your graves are so near to each other, just within walking distance in fact.

The afterlife is a mystery to us all and yet it is a sure thing …. life passes by and death awaits all men. It’s just a matter of time.

Dear Mak, my youngest daugther and your second youngest granddaughter broke down and cried upon hearing the news of her Nek Ngah passing away…. her soft heart felt the loss even though she only saw her Nek Ngah once a year.

Dear Mak, I’m feeling grateful to Allah s.w.t. that I was given the opportunity to visit her while she was still alive about a week ago. Alhamdulillah for the chance to see her, touch her and kiss her.

Dear Mak, you know right that with her passing, I will have another person added to my list of “missing” people….. I missed you and that will go on forever till my last breath and now I’m going to miss her too!

Ya Allah! …. May you give strength and sabr to all my cousins. Each will have to go through their grieving in their own way and I hope they will find comfort and strength in one another in this difficult moment, as how my sisters find ours when we lost our parents.

Rabbi yassir wala tu’assir ….

Our last photo with her … precious memory!


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