I did not do any baking during the fasting month and now I’ve been itching to bake so what better time then now since Teacher’s Day is coming.
So today I baked Chocolate Chips cookies. I will write more about this soon.
For today, I want to write more about the struggle of my inner self. The soul is the real me. So everything that happens to me has a major impact on my soul.
I have been reading up on topics of how to let go of the past, how to forgive others and forgive ourselves and move forward….. But reading and acting on them are two different issues.
My personal experience…. I do forgive but i have difficulty on forgetting, why is this so?
Perhaps time is the key to the success of being able to forget …
Also, by forgiving do I have to choose to associate with the same people who hurts me again and again?
Should I not heed the lessons and put a stop to the association to protect myself?
Other people who are not the receiver of such bad treatments may say “no you should not, just continue be civil or even say give in cos you are the better person”. But I am not the better person and I think after too many bad experience with these people, its time for me to stop being the receiver of their inconsiderations and protect myself.
Their value on family and its relationships differs from mine … And when you have too many differences, frictions will happen.
So call me cold or heartless or even less iof a muslimah … I do not mind for I believe Allah swt will have mercy on me cos He knows the whole story and knows my situations best.
I dislike hypocrisy and always try not to be one. Nothing makes me feel like throwing out then seeing a person who dislike another and yet in front iof society act goodie goodie to the other party.
I want my soul to be free from these matters and I want my soul to be able to focus on being able to internalise and improve my connections to the Creator.
This should be my focus and making sure I ldo not do the same bad things to others. But disassociate myself from those who harm me is a must cos I do not want to subject myself to such treatments anymore.
Like a rotting branch, someimes one has to cut the decay part to be able to continue sprouting new healthy leaves. So not socialising with those who have no respect nor understanding of other’s people position is a good option to start looking forward to a better future, insyaAllah!
So with this, I think I am really ready to act on what I need to do ….. To save my soul, work harder to remind me to focus more on my end destination.
I hereby declare…. I have forgiven them and I shall strive to look and stride forward to the future.