Memories are made of these …

Memories are made of these ….

My first doll, received at the age of 6 years old.  A gift from one of my sister at my first ever birthday party.  My one and only birthday party since.  Thanks to my wonderful late mother, May Allah bless her soul.  She cooked, bought me a dress and invited the closest relatives of ours to the party.  It was a small gathering but to me at that age it was the biggest ever.  I still have the photo of me wearing the dress she bought.  Can still remember the Mee Siam, agar-agar (jelly) in the rabbit mould, the many presents I received and above all, the warmth of having my family with me.

My first trip to Thailand.  Went there with my mother and sisters.  This trip was not only memorable to me because it was the furthest I’ve travelled at the age of 14, but also it was the first trip I paid on my own, out of my pocket money.  During this trip, not only was it enjoyable but it also made me see the difference between me and my sisters and how much patience my mother had been to us all.  The fact that I did not say anything yet my mother understood me was very touching.  I think till today, my late mother was the only one who truly understand me.

My first awakening to Islam.  Age 15, somehow I can’t remember how and why I enrolled in the class but that very first attendance opened my heart and eyes to the world of spiritual learning.  Truly I thanked the Almighty for sending me to my late teacher, Ustadhah Sharifah Badariah Alsagoff, May Allah bless her soul. For from her the door to understanding and knowing my religion begin to open  to me and it act as a beacon for me to always keep learning as I go on with my life.

My first encounter with death.  Age 18. The death of my mother was the first real experience I had in facing the issues of death and handling it to my best ability. It opened my eyes to so many things, both negative and positive.  Nothing was more real than facing the loss of my mother. She was the pillar in my life and losing her was hard to say the least.  Yet from these experience, the knowledge that even in the face of all these hardships, the Almighty never leave me alone.  He continue to guide me and thru His guidance I was able to bear and move on with my life.  I think among the many lessons life holds, facing and handling death is the hardest and yet the most valuable for within these experiences, many lessons and wisdom are reveal to those who beliefs.

Age 21, I entered into a new realm.  The realm of married life.  For almost 2 years, I struggled in my role as a daughter-in-law.  Being a wife was never an easy role, but being a daughter-in-law with a difficult MIL, was a challenging one.  The different in family background and different lifestyles was not an easy one to adjust to.  Somehow I continue to trudge along even today.  Now after 20 years of marriage, I am still trudging along with even more challenges.

A first time mother at the age of 25.  I think motherhood opened a new road to me.  Leading the life as a mother, I began to appreciate my late mother more.  Began to have more patience and less assuming on certain matters.  Somehow I think the moment a woman becomes a mother, she has gotten herself a life-long teacher ….. my children were and still are my teachers.  From them I learn and continue to learn to be a human being.

Next year, I will be 42 … hmm I wonder what else life will hold for me. 

With so many news of death of people I know whom are younger than me … I begin to wonder about my own.  When will it comes and how will it comes? Only Allah knows.

For now, I will try to make and remember as many good memories as possible.  Even the negative ones has its own goodness. 

Let’s all treasure whatever memories we have for via these experiences ….. somehow help to make us to what we are today.



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