Just letting it out …

Today I am in the mood to reminisce the past.  I got married at the age of 21.  I was pregnant for the first time after two years of marriage.  During the time before the pregnancy, life was a bit stressful because everywhere I go, people asked me the same question “Are you pregnant yet?”.  At  times I felt so frustrated that I felt like saying “You think getting pregnant is like switching off and on the light, so easy?”

Anyway, prior before knowing I was pregnant, I had the usual symptoms of pre-mestrual.  Pain below the abdomen and cramps on and off.  After sometime, I decided to see the doctor because the symptoms had been going on and yet the menstrual flow did not come.

So off to see the doctor, at that time, we were renting a room at Pasir Ris.  My husband accompanied me and both of us were surprised and jubilant to hear the doctor confirmation that I was pregnant.  It was already 2 months at that time.

A week after I decided to make appointment to see a gynae cos the cramps were still on and off.  I was worried because it did not seem normal.

Sad to say, after the 2nd appointment with the gynae, I started to have bleedings….. and soon after I had my first miscarriaged.

That was a very very painful experience, the pain, cramps and bleeding plus the emotional roller coaster …. I had no words to describe them.

I had mood swings thereafter but thankfully it did went away after sometime.

Somehow we persevere in our quest for a baby of our own.  A year later, I got pregnant but again another miscarriage.

The third time, Alhamdulillah, I was able to safely gave birth of our eldest daughter.  At 37 weeks, my water bag burst during the night and the next day around 3 pm, I gave birth to her.  She weighs only 2.7 kg at that time but soon grew to be one of the chubbiest baby 🙂

Now I have 3 lovely daughters.  Yet, sometimes, like now, I am reminded of how I used to wish for a son.  A son whom I would have called Uwais. This name I chose after I read the story about Uwais Al-Qarni r.a.  I love his story and since the first reading, I had wished for a son who hopefully will be like him.  Alas! It was not to be.  I believe there are blessings for whatever happens or given to us.

And today, with delight I read that my late teacher’s eldest daughter-in-law had given birth to a baby girl. Alhamdulillah, happy for the couple.  May Allah bless the sweet baby girl with many blessings. Amin.

So now with the latest addition, my late teacher has 2 grandsons and 1 granddaughter…. I don’t know why but I feel so happy like it’s my granddaughter instead hehee…

Looking forward to more good news for I believe this year seems like many people are in the mood for baby boom! 🙂


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